This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
