My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
