Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize