how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
