No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize