Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Damn victory sex feels great
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
