apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
