We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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