so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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