Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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