it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
