He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
