I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
