I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
