dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
