i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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