Whats the glycemic index on semen?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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