Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
