my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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