I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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