Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Randomize
