I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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