I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
