We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
