I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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