I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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