I am in a vortex of obligation.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
This is my gift to your gina
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
