Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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