Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
