So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
