Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
