i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize