Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
