Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
