used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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