U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
