How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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