After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
