In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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