We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
