Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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