dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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