wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
