so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
