I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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