my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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