like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
