So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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