I'm lost and stupid without you.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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