If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
a search helicopter?!
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
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