Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
