What a fucking waste of an outfit
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
