But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
