Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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