now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
