i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
