Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
