i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
