How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
