Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize