for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
