READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
