so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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