Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize